"THE 1ST HUNDRED YEARS ARE THE HARDEST"

As my new "Dad" has always said, "The first hundred years are the hardest...then you just don't give a rip."
However, when he turns 100 years old on March 27th, I'm going to write on his card: "....and YOU'RE on your SECOND hundred years, so just relax and enjoy it!"

As a part of "Becoming God's Woman" I have learned to really respect and admire my parents, and am actually enjoying them in their sunset years. I have learned in raising my own children, and now having grandchildren and GREAT grandchildren, that we parents don't always make the right decisions for our offspring; nor do we always set a good example. So I've opted to cut mine some slack.

Seeing my parents reach the ages of 92 and 100, I find that I am enjoying them more as the years fly by; because I KNOW what they went through to GET here. I can respect that they have gone through good years and hard years; fruitful years and lean years; been in good health, and experienced illnesses; have met personal challenges and not always seen all their dreams come true, and dealt with their children lovingly through it all. No matter whether or not they always made the right decisions for us, or protected us from all of life's hurts and disappointments, they meant the best for us, and always tried (within the best of their ability and power) to do the right thing by us.

However, the more I talk with other people, I have come to the conclusion that some of our younger generation do not feel as I do. They criticize and cast blame on their parents for every short coming and disappointment they experience. Now, don't they ever think to themselves: my parents are human, and as such they are going to make mistakes. And, as I've said before, there is no such thing as a "perfect" parent. We don't need to cast stones unless we have walked in our parent's shoes. Have a little respect and be thankful for the good things they did do, and for the things they did that got you as far as you are today. My parents were not "perfect" either, and, as many of you know, I suffered abuse at the hands of my natural Dad. But, I chose a long time ago to forgive them; didn't make any difference if THEY changed or not...I forgave them right where we were. Therefore, today, in my parents sunset years, I am able to be with them, do things for them that they aren't able to do for themselves at this age, and just enjoy the time we have together. And, at the same time, unforgiveness has not been allowed to make me sick...did you KNOW that holding grudges, resentments, and not forgiving can make you physically ill? It most certainly can; it can cut your life short.

So, to sum it all up, treat your parents as you'd like your children to treat YOU in your later years. Don't waste your years and their years by fussing and fuming about things that happened long ago. Put them behind you and get on with the business AND the FUN of life and loving. Because it IS true, the first hundred years are the hardest, and we need to help our loved ones enjoy them. Another bit of advice for you parents: Be nice to your kids...because they may be the ones who pick out your retirement location or take care of you. And remember, all of you, it's true what they say: "What goes around, comes around." The world would be a better place if we all just forgave and loved each other for the very human beings that we are...NOT perfect.
Dad: A VERY HAPPY 100th BIRTHDAY TO YOU, and thanks for treating me every bit like your daughter.

Note: Mom and "Dad" met 8 years ago when my husband and I were going together. We introduced them because we thought Dad would be a good influence on my mother. He had his own pickup truck, cell phone, and computer, and was a real go-getter. They met on his 92nd birthday when she was 83, and he proposed 4 months later on HER birthday. We were planning our wedding for in the fall, and for a time we thought we might have a double wedding. But, being the age they were, they didn't want to waste any time, so they beat us to the alter by just one month and married October 6th of 2001. So...you might say that Dad said "I do" at 92. They have had 8 years together now, and both of them help each other so much. We are very glad that they have found each other and happiness.